Posted by WolfriderV6 on Sat - Aug 12 - 05:07am: In Reply to: From a Hooligan member - Humor posted by RJ # 173 SoGH on Fri - Aug 11 - 3:20pm: .

//// Flight of the Valkyrie \\\\
\\\\ .... By Wolfrider ...... ////

0-54 mph ----------------> Impulse Drive
(Vroooooom!)

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55-65 mph --------> Warp One
(No worries)
- Big Grinz and Friendly Waves

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66-77 mph --------> Warp Two
(Cruising configuration)
- Big S.E.G. {see below}

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78-85 mph --------> Warp Three
(Hold on to yer hat, Spock...)
- Big S.E.G. gets wider, incoming bugs start to hurt a bit
- The cop up ahead behind the billboard wakes up as his radar starts beeping frantically

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86-99 mph --------> Warp Four
(Lookout for donut dunkers and hang on tight, baby!)
- Incoming bugs start leaving dents in your leathers; you shift into Second
- The cop starts his Corvette

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100-110 mph --------> Warp Five
(Danger zone for plugged tires)
- Your lips are flapping in the wind; incoming bugs start leaving dents in your Helmet
- The cop, (whose name happens to be Roscoe) pulls out, hits the lights and begins Hot Pursuit(TM)

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111-120 mph --------> Warp Six
(Sanity questioned)
- Startled local fauna look up and wonder, what the Hell was THAT?
- The pilot of that black Valk in front of you looks in the rearview mirror and smiles back at Roscoe, who now has his siren on and appears to be waving his gun out the window and yelling something about "those Daisy Dukes!" -- He looks slightly miffed

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121-134 mph --------> Warp Seven
(Theoretical limit for stock Valk)
- The now-apoplectic Cop gives up trying to catch you and just radios ahead for the Blockade to Fire at Will (and boy, does it ever suck to be Will at that point)
- The pilot of that black Valk next to you (who happens to be wearing REALLY short shorts and a Confederate Flag helmet) notices that you're riding a Black and Yellow, and her eyes widen a bit; you wave Hi and hit the Nitrous after deploying your Baker Air Wings

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135-199 mph --------> Warp Eight
(Beam me up, Scotty!)
- The Hayabusa pilot ahead of you wonders just who you're trying to impress
- His name happens to be William ;-)

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200+ mph --------> Warp Nine
(Time begins running backward)
- The Hayabusa behind you goes down in a hail of gunfire, as both your wheels leave Terra Firma; Vicki, the pilot of the black Valk, has pulled over and is laughing her head off
- The science officer of a passing Vulcan scoutship glances down at his screen and notices your Warp signature

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???? mph --------> Warp Ten
(Theoretically impossible without major modifications and application of highly illegal, advanced alien technology -- but then again you've watched the X-Files religiously and have some hot beta hardware from Lamont, who happens to have an old Army buddy in Area 51)
- The Vulcan scoutship behind you wonders just where the Hell you're going in such a hurry, and notifies the Temporal Police of a causality violation as you breach the laws of Time and Space
- The Temporal Police haul you over and bust you all the way back to Kindergarten
- You eventually re-graduate Kindergarten and hitchhike your way back home; the Mad Serb shows up with a gleam in his eye and you end up partying in the chat room till dawn.

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Ladeez and gennlemenz, Thank you for riding Air Valkyrie!
We now return you to your regularly scheduled Hooliganism.

======= @@ - S.E.G. == Shiznit Eating Grin ~:)

 

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